Moved 5 years ago and still not accepted here? No friends, or anything? I just dont know what to do anymore?
I moved from the city to a tiny town 5 years ago this September. I started grade 6 at a private school and made one "friend" who always went home for lunch so we never saw each other much. Each day I would sit on the stairs or hide in the library so I wouldn't be embarassed I have no one to eat with or hang out.
Highschool came and for my full grade eight year, I ate by myself in the hall way or when the weather was ok I went outside and walked around till the bell rang.
In grade 9, I made an amazing friend. We shared all our classes together and hung out all the time. I was so happy. At this time, I also met a guy who I started dating at the end of that year.
Grade 10 came and my boyfriend had controlling issues and I wasn't allowed to see my friends or have any hobbies or talk to anyone.
I broke up with him after 1 1/2 years because it was killing me. Now my former friend (and group) are mad at me because they think I ditched them for him so I can't go back to them. I'm back to grade eight where I just sit alone in class, at lunch, etc.
I just can't handle this. I have one more year left of highscool and all my life I wanted to be the really happy, pretty, friendly (even if not popular) girl. Now everyone ignores me and it's like I don't exist. Next year our school is implementing a rule that you have to sit in the cafeteria for lunch, Im okay with sitting by myself in the hall with a few people walking by but I don't want to sit alone at a table where everyone stares and pities me...
I wish I could start over in another school but I can't because the closest one is an hour away....
What can I possibly do?
P.S. I do talk to people in my classes, and be super nice and friendly but it's like out of class they don't know me.